Is pursuing our passion while raising our kids and managing our household actually possible? If yes, how can we do it in a way that won’t affect the quality of care we provide to our kids? Read on to find out.
Once a person becomes a parent, pursuits of passion are typically tossed aside.
Since I became one myself, I can tell you how many people have actually pushed me to pursue my passion in writing: just two — a close friend of mine (my inspiration when it comes to pursuing passion), and my supportive husband.
It’s understandable. As I was looking for some inspiration for this article, I’ve come across one post that speaks exactly what’s on my mind. “Motherhood keeps us busy,” Lauren Gonzales, the article’s author said (you can read her full article here). And that is a hundred percent true. Motherhood keeps us busy we won’t even have time for a long, relaxing shower. Sometimes, even for a quick one.
We spend our days looking after the kids, doing the laundry, preparing meals, cleaning the house, and so on. Even without pursuing our passion, it’s already tough keeping a balance between kids and home. So how can we even squeeze in the things we are passionate about?
Some might tell us to forget about our passion and wait until the kids are older. I actually considered that option. However, my passion was screaming at the top of its lungs that I needed to unleash it, or else I would have gone mad. The question is, how would I find the time to squeeze it in? And is this the right time?
When is the right time to pursue our passion?
My answer to this is NOW. Yes, there’s no other time to pursue our passion rather than now. But hold on… shouldn’t we wait for the kids to at least start going to school?
As I have said, I considered this option. But that means I have to wait for another two years. It wouldn’t be so hard if my creative passion wasn’t bugging me. But it is, and it’s been wrestling its way out from within me. You must have felt it, too. And I just happen to have read an article written by another mom (and she’s a Filipino, too; you can read Riz’ full article here) who had the same story.
So you see, you’re not alone. We probably have that voice inside our heads whispering over and over again — stories waiting to be written, songs waiting to be composed, countries waiting to be visited. They’re all in our heads, and we try as much as we could to ignore them. But each and every single day, they keep on tugging our sleeves, begging to be released.
Once, I tried to put my creativity to use in our church organization. It was a relief, but there’s still something inside me that screams: “I’m a blog waiting to be launched. I’m a book waiting to be written.”
I felt paralyzed. I wanted to do something, but my hectic daily schedule won’t allow me. I became frustrated. Became grumpy. Stressed out. And so I realized, there’s no other choice but to pursue my passion now. If I wait too long, it might affect my mental well being.
So I talked to my husband about it, and he agreed. He didn’t only give his approval — he even pushed me. Of which I am so grateful.
It also makes sense why we should pursue our passion now. We must not let our lives revolve around our kids and our home. It’s tiring, and sometimes depressing, and we need a distraction to keep our sanity in tact. We must do things aside from raising the kids and keeping the house clean — things that we love and make us feel alive again. Something that would refuel our energy and make us bounce back to our vitality. Something that makes us forget we’re exhausted that we don’t even mind having less time for sleep.
As for me, I found it in writing. By writing in this blog, I’ve found another purpose the I could dedicate myself to. And I told myself that if I will use my kids as an excuse not to do it now, another excuse would come up soon. So I’d better do something about it now than have regrets later on.
How can we find balance between our kids and our passion?
It’s not easy, really. At some point, we’d either have less time for our passion or less time for the kids. So we can never really find a balance. But we need to compromise.
In some days, I could only squeeze in an hour for my writing. In other days, I’d spend few extra hours and let my kids watch TV for a while. Which means I have to do the household chores while they play and disturb me from time to time. And that’s fine.
We have our limitations, and there’s nothing we can do rather than accept these limitations and move forward. As what Mark Manson says in his book, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”, we just have to start confronting painful truths in order to find the courage and confidence we seek. And the painful truth is this: as moms, we won’t really ever find the balance that we so desperately want. We just have to stop thinking about it too much and live one day at a time.
So I call upon you fellow stay-at-home moms to start pursuing your passion, or perhaps, chasing that dream you’ve always wanted since you were a kid. You want to become a designer? A successful entrepreneur? A renowned pastry chef? A globetrotter?
I’ve been hanging out the online world for a while and I’ve read stories from other moms who are also successful in their chosen pursuit for passion. I also personally know some of them (read my exclusive interview with Kristel of Cake N Tel). And that’s how I know that it’s possible. We can conquer motherhood and still invade other territories.
Take baby steps — they will eventually take you there
Start small. Write down your dreams. Make a plan. List down your daily goals. We don’t have to do everything now, but we’ve got to do something.
When I was just starting to pursue my passion, I used to write at night when the kids are asleep. I’d type the words out of my head using my mobile phone because I can’t use the laptop since my daughter’s sleeping soundly in my arms. As months went by, it became easier. Now I type everything in my laptop and I have two hours in the morning to dedicate for my writing sessions.
As what they say, all it takes is time and patience.
Learn from others, and keep on learning. Celebrate milestones, no matter how small. That’s what I’ve been doing. And though I’m not as successful yet as those that I look up to, I’m proud that I was finally able to start this blog. I’m not sure whether I’ll be successful just like the rest, but I’m enjoying my journey anyway and it’s making me happier each day, and that’s what matters.
As for you, you just have to start here… and now.
So have you decided to pursue your passion? You just came to the right resource. I’m here to inspire and empower you and our fellow moms that despite our limitations, we still can do so much more. Sign-up below to receive updates on new inspirational and motivational posts, plus a FREE-TO-DOWNLOAD printable 12-Month Goal Planner to help you start turning your dreams into actionable goals.
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I am so glad that you had that constant voice inside your head for years to write and to top it up the support you received from your husband 🙂
I have a friend who is consistent with me in my blogs and who also knows that I am writing a story. He gives me ideas about my characters and tries his best to help me with creative ideas. He is only one friend who has told me to pursue my dreams and I am doing this, each baby step at a time.
Keep going on and all the best!
Bridgid
Yes, I’m lucky to have a supportive husband. You’re also lucky to have a friend who supports you in your writing. Sometimes one is just enough to keep us going. And you’re right, let’s take baby steps and we’ll get there for sure, with consistency and determination. 😊
Yass mama! Praech! I loved this read. I contemplated for so long about getting my blog up and running but I’m so happy I finally did it. Yes, its hard, yes there never seems to be enough time but if you don’t start now and take those “baby steps” you’ll never do it. There’s always a million excuses not to do something so forget the excuses and do something for you. I feel like blogging has helped me be a better mama because I’ve got something for me that I love and a happy mama is a better mama. We can’t pour from an empty cup. This is my own self-care, it motivates me and gives me joy. Connecting with other mamas has also been wonderful. Being a SAHM can get lonely.
Same here! Blogging has definitely changed the way I looked at being a SAHM. It brought back my identity, and made me excited being just at home. Keep up with your blog, I really enjoyed the one I just read. 😊
Something similar happened to me too, my husband became a strong pillar for me to live my passion.
You’re so lucky then to get your husband’s support. Keep up with your passion 🙂
oh man. yes mama! I thought the same thing. it’s like you were inside my head too!
😊 I guess almost every SAHM has the same thoughts.
I need to be better at this balance. It seems like it’s been so hard to find after having a baby, she’s 15 months now and I’m still struggling.
Didn’t come easy for me as well specially with two kids 3 and below. When I began writing, my youngest was still less than a year old. Such a struggle! I thought I wouldn’t make it. I just did whatever I could. I joined FB groups, I wrote at night, I listed down my plans though I couldn’t do any of them yet. Eventually that plan become a reality when I launched my blog just this week. Nothing will be easier, but I guess we can find ways how to deal with it. 😊
This is something I’ve been struggling with lately! Thankful my husband is supportive!
You’re lucky that your husband supports you. I think it’s really important to have a support system in these kinds of struggle. I’m just grateful that my husband supported me in my passion.
I love this – it’s so encouraging! You’re right, as moms we won’t ever find that perfect balance. If I give it all to my kids, I feel like I’ve lost me. But if I pursue my passions, I feel like I’m missing out with my kids. So I just do both and TRY to balance as best I can!
Thank you! You’re right, all we can really do is try the best that we can. There’s no perfect way to do it, but at least we’ve got to do something 🙂
I love this post and the whole purpose of this blog. yes the time is NOW and it gets hard sometimes to be mentally available for doing something for ourselves, but it’s worth it to persist and do it anyway.
Thank you 🙂 And yes, it’s definitely worth it. I became better at handling my temper with the kids when I started pursuing my passion in writing. I think that’s what inspired me why I chose this theme in my blog. 🙂
So lovely to read, I needed this inspiration today. Sometimes I get so lost taking care of others that I forget about myself. The time is now (well maybe not right now as it 1am in Australia… but tomorrow!)
That constant voice was nagging me too! So glad I took the leap!
Angel | Mommy-ing Differently
Congrats for taking the leap 🙂
I’m so excited to read stories like this. Having the support to pursue our goals is so important to our success. From one mom to another, you’re an inspiration. It isn’t always easy, but we only live once so we have to dive in.
Thank you 🙂 I agree with you. We’ve got to live life today because we never know what tomorrow might bring 🙂
Yes! I totally agree! It’s so important as mom’s to make time for ourselves and the things that are important to us!
Definitely!
I absolutely love this! As a working mom who finds true joy in what I do outside the home, it’s so important for me to pursue my passion so that I can be the best mom and wife for my family. Great read!
Thank you 🙂 I agree with you, too!
I love this post and completely relate to it, I have been at that point where I immersed myself in motherhood to the point I found it hard to remember what I wanted to be or what I like to do before I was a mom. It took some self-work and a lot of support to get back to it. Thank you for writing this post, it is such an important message.
You’re welcome! And thank you for reading my post 🙂
This post is very relatable and inspiring. It took me a long time to get back to me and my passion for life. However, I’m happy to say that after years of devotion to moherhood and taking care of my family, I’m now able to include some self care and “ME time” in the mix without the guilt.
Wow, I’m happy to hear that. I’m really into “ME” time, too, because our responsibilities as a mother will go through the years. It makes sense to take a break every once in a while.
My kids are 4 & 6 and I’m justtt now learning how to balance it all! Luckily, one of my newfound passions is exercise which gets me feeling good!
That’s great to hear 🙂
What a great reminder and something I needed to hear! In my opinion as parents when we get to put or passions to use and are happy it shows our kids that happiness in life is really important. Since I want them to be happy when they grow up; part of my job as a mom is to model that….does that make since lol? Any way I loved how you put everything into perspective! What a great read
Yes, what you said makes a lot of sense 🙂 Thank you for reading, I’m glad you liked it. 😊